Avenade - Try Searching for a Lover (Limited Edition CD)

Four albums deep, Central Illinois-based multi-instrumentalist Mattie Hawkins can't help but reinvent themselves through their prolific Avenade project yet again. After 2023's disgustingly bittersweet "Our Raging God Unknown to Us" and their sole 2024 double single "This Winter / What About It?", "Try Searching for a Lover" looks for something new to linger on.

The album ["Try Searching for a Lover"] feels almost as if it's a rare watercolor painting you can't stop staring at; an interpretation of a memory of what once was, and an interpretation of what might become. It can't help but ask you: what are you really looking for out of someone?

Yet the deeper you look into it, the more it stings, like reconnecting with a long-lost lover you never found closure with, or a glimpse of trauma within the mundane.

"Who am I?“ “Who are you?“ “Am I living a lie?"

Within the music lies a crystal-clear reflection on what it means to both love yourself, and what it takes to love someone else; almost acting like a figurative and literal metamorphosis of Mattie's inner soul.

On the search for new sonic territory; the search for something more, Mattie's compass shifted ever upwards, towards the clouds. "I’ve always wanted to make a shoegaze record for sure", Mattie explains. "I wanted to go with something lighter [maybe even heavenly] this time around [and make] something to showcase my song-writing skills. I always felt like those kinda moments where I’m doing pretty stuff in-between the noise and the sludge [like Memoir off of "Our Raging God"] stood out as opposed to just focusing on that."

Themes of longing and desire might be a strong influence on a typical shoegaze record, but despite what you think, it isn't the motivator towards this one.

"I didn’t want to make a breakup record", Mattie expresses. "I wanted to make an album about love, but it’s hard to find things to talk about that aren’t about your [past and present] other half when you’re writing about something that feels that visceral. It’s more an album about me rather than about you, or the person that I could be for you. It’s an album about finding myself before I can find you."

Try Searching for a Lover releases on September 11th, 2025. 

Limited edition CD comes in a jewel case with bespoke artwork and layout designed by Gabriel Good. Includes an exclusive bonus track.

Orders will ship out within 14 days upon album release date.

You will receive your item within the timeframe provided unless otherwise contacted.

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